As with great successes, I’ve had my share of moments of despair while gaming. One of the worst for me was the two deaths of my character Thelisn.
I have mentioned previously how Thelisn died, both times. At the time that he fell in a field to the bodak, I had really grown to like him as a character. What he had gone through storywise had really gotten me attached to him. I began making all kinds of plans about his future class levels, ability, and skill score increases. More than any character I had before that time, even Delban, I had a clear vision of where I wanted him to go from where he was.
And then it all ended. A single failed saving throw against a bastard undead beast. I’m not a highly emotional person, but I was really bummed when that happened. So much so that I jumped at the chance to bring him back, even as a bodak. I didn’t really think that one through. Even though he served Silverhall and the party, as an undead there was no way for him to heal since we didn’t have an evil cleric about.
Over the following weeks it dawned on me what the inevitable outcome would be for him. I had a really hard time motivating myself to go to game night during that time. I almost didn’t want to be there when it happened. In one sense I was glad when he finally fell the second time. But watching it play out, almost in slow motion, over the course of those weeks, really, really sucked.